For as long as TDP exists? The thing that’ll make me the most uncomfortable is this seriously bizarre thing where we can go from being someone’s BFF, to [almost hilariously] their sworn enemy [and seemingly almost overnight], for no other reason other than that we put some [seriously reasonable] boundaries in place to ensure that we don’t feel like we’re being screwed out there in small business land.
So, the biggest example of this? Well, it’d – without doubt – be our one [and really only] rule around the fact that if you’re rolling out social media workshops? You’re;
- Welcome to workshop with us [granted, it’s a little bit awkward, … but we wouldn’t dream of blocking folks from being able to workshop with us, ha!]
- Welcome to learn all o’ the things from us
- Welcome to come to all of our networking evenings
- Welcome to basically do anything, except, …
- Copy our curriculum [seriously? Feck off], or join our private FB group
The reason being? Well, the copying of our curriculum is [hopefully] pretty obvious, i.e don’t steal our sh*t, man, ha! But the second part? Our private FB group? It’s completely free. It’s valuable beyond description. We will never charge for membership to that group, despite dropping 10-15+ hours to the administration of the group week in / week out, and whilst we’re completely happy to serve our beloved community there? … we’ll be honest, … the passion tapers down a little when we think about investing in unpaid admin. time to folks who are also offering social media workshops, and gaining valuable insights / networking opportunities from our group as a result of being there.
And the stupid thing is this, we’ve made that crystal clear; we mention it [humorously so] at the end of every workshop. We’ve pinned a post at the top of our group clearly displaying our group’s rules, and yet the 3-4 times in TDP’s [entire] history that we’ve had to remove someone from our private group because they’re offering SM workshops [and even PM’ing our TDP tribe to promo to them directly via FB messenger, ha!], … the ab.solute sh*t fight ensues.
It’s almost predictable. Depressingly predictable. And embarrassingly predictable.
We literally look at each other and our team, and we say, “3, 2, 1, … here it comes”, and bang, like clockwork? The inevitable;
“Well, so much for TDP being community-over-competition”, or “whatever happened to women supporting women”, blah, blah, blardy blah.
The response has become so utterly predictable, it’s almost, … boring? And nowadays, we’re honestly getting better at [almost immediately] being able to shake that off. It’s like when you’re so used to someone’s fighting style, that you become bored with it, because you just know they’re going to try to hit you where it hurts, i.e for us? It’s by having a dig at something we’re so absolutely passionate about, by inevitably trying to convince us that we’re not about that.
Community. Women. Supporting other women. Sisterhood. Kindness. Empathy. Generosity.
Except that, surprisingly [even to us], … around mid-2017, we stopped with the kindness obsession, and we stopped with the subservience to a-holes obsession, and we decided that we should be most kind [and most generous] to us, … which would ultimately mean we’d have more in the tank to give to those who deserve it [i.e our beloved TDP tribe].
However, in the interest of being transparent? It’s taken a long time to reach this point where we’re comfortable with our boundaries; counsellors, psychologists, wellness coaches, confidence coaches, kinesiologists, … you name it. We’ve dropped time, money, tears, LOL’s, heartache, and headspace to being able to wrap our heads around feeling comfortable and confident putting respectable boundaries in place.
And we’re finally there, and we no longer feel insulted when someone doesn’t like the boundaries we put in place for the health + wellness not just of our business, … but for ourselves too.
Spoiler alert? It took us being able to train our brains not to feel insulted by arseholes, … but to instead feel sad for them. Sad that they need to do that / say that / be that. And once you make the shift from feeling insulted by them, to sad for them, … your whole mindset? Well, it’s an entirely different mindset, because going from sad by them, to sad for them = #powerposition.
So with all of that came needing to be able to brace ourselves for the inevitable, “so much for TDP being about community over competition dig”, which meant we needed to get cracking on writing a little [feckin’ long!] list of the every.single.time in every.single.week we’ve been community over competition-focused, so that post-any interaction we have with a-holes? We’re able to read through that list in order to lift our spirits and I guess, remind ourselves [and our empath souls] that we are community-minded, … and we’re also really good people.
It’s almost like a little, … love letter to our business, y’know? To remind ourselves of all o’ the times we’ve been good business owners, to other good business owners, and done good karma’y things, and it just sits there as something we can read through to remind ourselves of all o’ the good things whenever we need it.
Have you got anything written up / printed out for your business’y tough times? A love letter to your business? Screenshots of beautiful testimonials? Beautiful customer feedback? A little book o’ compliments? Your business highs as a compilation for you to read through when you might be focusing too much on a low, perhaps?
We highly recommend. x