I started this year around 90-something kilos [this was already not ideal for me, and it wasn’t about appearances, but I genuinely felt so unhealthy at 90-something kg’s]. By mid-year? I was 100.1 kilograms, and I was barely able to walk up stairs without feeling so legitimately puffed out, I was asthmatic, I was type 2 diabetic [recently diagnosed], I was … feeling like I was drowning in my own overweight’ness [not a word, but let’s roll with this for the purposes of this non-scholarly blog post].
We’d have branded photo shoots, and photos would roll into Dropbox, and I’d look at me without recognising it was me and think, “who is this person?!” … but it was me. I can’t describe the disappointment of that realisation, every time it was realised, and by July this year? This was many, many times.
I knew I was overweight, but the thing is, when you’re putting make-up on for work in the morning, you hold your face up to apply the foundation correctly etc. and I guess for me, I probably didn’t realise that I was rapidly clocking up x4 chins. I’d never know it when I was putting make-up on in the mornings, but I’d see it when we got photos back from our photographer etc. [and it was these moments I used to think, I actually don’t know how to turn this around].
The craziest part? … I was 69kg’s when TDP began just x5 years ago, and so in this blog post, I want to break down some of the key reasons I now know entrepreneurship has [dramatically] impacted my weight, and then I’ll finish off by letting you know what I did to overcome it all [let’s be real, that’s likely another blog post within itself].
—
Reason #1 – The startup years will f*ck you, if you let them. And I did. Jesus. Pumped with adrenalin, I went into TDP’s first year with a rose-coloured-glasses-approach to how I felt I was going to tackle that first year of all work / zilch pay, and it was with 80-90 hour working weeks. Spoiler alert? All o’ that adrenalin, minimal sleep, poor nutritional choices [because of a lack of time, and money], reaching for sugar at 10pm because you are so tired but just-need-to-finish-that-somethin’-somethin’, well it uh … doesn’t end well.
In that first year? I’m pretty sure I went from 69kg’s to 79kg’s, which sounds like a lot, but for me being as tall as I am? It was barely noticeable, and a super slow way to gain weight without really realising it.
Year one. Literally, the first 3’ish months of TDP. 69kg’s.
Reason #2 – Cortisol. Tying back into the startup year f*cking me? Let’s talk about cortisol, because by the end of year 1, I was pumped with stress-induced cortisol. You can eat a fairly healthy diet, and exercise fairly regularly, but if your body is literally coursing with cortisol, I wish you all the luck in the world losing weight.
Spoiler alert? It’s almost physically impossible, and my cortisol levels were just climbing by this point. I was – at this point – trying to improve my diet, and I signed up for a rigorous personal training schedule, but nothing was shifting and deep down? … I knew it was cortisol [even my personal trainer said, you’ll need to address your stress levels if you want to move the needle on your weight loss story, and she was right].
Reason #3 – Second year sadness. Like, epic sadness. By this point? I was so genuinely alone in this business. I was coming up against some pretty aggressive [and also really sneaky] bullying [the type of bullying that has you questioning yourself, and your sanity, and looking to others as if to say … “did you just see that?!”]. I actually can’t put into words how desperately unhappy I was. If anyone asked something as simple as “how are you?”, I’d legitimately have to blink away tears.
That second year in business? … it was like being in a prison, but like … gaffer-taped, because I couldn’t say a GD-thing.
So what did I do instead? I turned to food. Fully fledged comfort eating. And I’ll spoiler alert again for you all, but what began as comfort eating, spiralled into legitimate binge eating [I’m talking … hiding-food-in-your-bedroom-away-from-your-husband kinda binge eating].
It took about a year to progress from comfort eating, to binge eating, but Jesus … once you’re in binge-town? You genuinely think you’re on the verge of Elvis-Presley’ing yourself, lemme tell you.
Reason #4 – More cortisol. Sleep deprivation. Constant stress. Frequent interstate travel [sounds glam. but I promise it’s nothing more than the exhaustion of multiple flights, sh*tty airport food, uber eats on arrival at your hotel, and waking up every hour overnight worried you’ll miss the strategy day with xyz client the next day, ha!]. Poor nutritional choices. Zilch time to prepare healthy meals. Looking [desperately] for “quick” options.
etc. etc. etc.
Number 4? Pretty much an accumulation of business ownership, and reasons 1-3, tbh.
This snap was at my tipping point, 100.1kg’s.
—
Guys? I look around and I see this story unfolding everywhere. I literally see it with my own eyes. I watch business owners on IG stories talking about working a late one, and ordering in Uber Eats and I think, “yep, that was me too”. I hear business owners in IG stories talking about the same things I experienced, i.e “man, I just cannot keep this creeping weight off”, and I know they’re at the start of it all like I was where it feels slow and creepy at the start … and then you’re x4 years in > looking at photos that have landed into Dropbox > genuinely unable to recognise that this is actually you.
My advice from someone who went from 69kg’s to 100.1kg’s in x5 years?
Slow down. Respect your body. Respect your adrenals. Put yourself to bed early as much as possible [sleep is so good for weight control!]. Don’t overextend yourself. Don’t say yes, when you know you should be saying no. If something or someone is making you sad? Don’t turn to comfort food, turn to a really good counsellor [believe me, you can spiral from comfort eating to binge eating fast, or at least … that was my experience]. I remember tucking into donuts thinking, “showed them!” [in reference to my bully], but Jesus … I wasn’t showing anyone anything.
The legitimate key? Smaller [healthier] portions. A well-rested business owner. Adrenals in check. And for me? The kind of exercise I’ll be returning to will be something that supports my ab.so.lute adrenal burnout, before I hit the gruelling “drop and give me 20” kinda stuff, tbh.
First I recover from adrenal fatigue … then I drop and give someone 20, ha!
—
Me today. Diabetes-free. Happier. Healthier. 75kg’s, and probably 6kg’s off my goal weight.
I’ll post next week re: how I dealt with recognising my weight gain, and what I did to turn it all around, but p.s? I’m still not “there” yet, however I am also happily far away from 100.1kg’s, and it’s somewhere I never want to be again.
Not because of the number on the scale, honestly … but because of how it made me feel [which was sh*t!].
Wow, so much in this resonates with me and your timing is everything. Last week I was saying… something has got to change and as you said I was just feeling unhealthy and uncomfortable in my body. We bought a small business in January this year and I have been keto for years but that has been going out the window of late, due to longer hours and stress I suppose.
Congratulations to you on your health journey and also bringing this to the forefront. Great write up.
Thanks Michelle
Thanks for sharing Cherie, great work in getting yourself healthier. Just yesterday I ‘treated’ myself to a remedial massage.
It will be great I thought, I am in my mid-50s and still doing 6 shifts a week in hospitality along with all the admin of owning your own restaurant.
The massage turned into an hour of deep breathing to try and manage my pain throughout. It was about halfway through my hour of pain when the thought of ‘what the hell have I done to my body???’ Came into my head and literally bought tears to my eyes. I’m in my 6th year of business and all the signs are pointing to me needing to make MAJOR CHANGES for my wellness.
Weight is also an ongoing issue for me and your article is another point of inspiration to get these changes happening immediately 🙏
All the best in your continued path to your wellness
I can complete relate to this its sooo not funny. I’ve put on over 25kgs in the last two years and funnily enough just as my business is takes off! So this post is very timely! Thank you for sharing and congrats on turning it around!
Ummmm. Helloooooo! This is me. Right now, but also a few years ago. A few years ago I was working corporate and had a horrible manager. Over time, her inadvertant bullying (the worst kind in my eyes) made me pile on the weight. The thing is… I was able to move to another department and slowly over the course of a year lost 17kg. I was like you, tall. So at first you dont notice it. So now, when I decided to first put my business on hold (I am an amazing paid social strategist FYI if you are ever hiring 😉 ) to head to Melbourne and renovate my mothers house so I could move her to Queensland and she could live with my sister, I was doing that PLUS a business as people were coming to me once I finished my corporate job (never turn down work is what I was always taught, isn’t THAT a lesson!) . So now, doing everything for everyone else, I now have a business, which is kinda the same . And now the weight. Ergh! I feel like I have reversed all of the amazing work I have done and now have to start again from scratch. I am literally at my desk now with a glass of wine and cheese and biscuits whilst procrastinating and reading this blog when i really need to be putting another proposal together and optimising campaigns, I dont have time to go to Woolies to stock up on healthy food either. Next week.. I promise next week. Lol
Such perfect timing to read this article Cherie! I’m am absolutely at that adrenaline induced, hamster wheel, just keep swimming stage, 4 years into my own business, and had an appointment with my naturopath today to talk about burnout and my insane cortisol levels.
..and you’re right, no one talks about this!
I can’t wait to read your follow up article xx
Cherie, once again it’s like we are twins, separated at birth…or maybe in this case, ex-conjoined twins who each ate the other one sometime during their respective entrepreneurial journeys! I am going through exactly the same thing & had only just come to the realisation last week that I can’t let it go on any longer & it’s time to regain control. So, THANK YOU. You are such a beautiful human, with an uncanny sense of timing it seems (!)… I just took so much from this piece that I already know were the exact words I needed to hear, right at the very moment they appeared on screen in front of me. Much love from me lady. And much respect xx Gin
Such a great post. I can totally relate. Good on you for turning it around. It’s a tough slog but you have made amazing progress!
Love it can’t wait to hear how you over come adrenal fatigue and cortisol stuff
Wow. You pretty much just summed up my last 8 years of my life. I am insulin resistan, so not quite diabetic but I am well on my way. I started at the gym last week and can’t wait to hear the next part of your blog!
Such good timing. 8 years ago after baby number 2 I started on a 6-month journey to lose 21kg. I was overseas and working crazy hours but I got into a routine (and made the most of someone organizing my meals). 2 years later the weight started to creep on, and now 5 years after moving back to Australia, I’m heavier than ever – and I’m sure it’s due to all the reasons you’ve outlined. Look forward to your next post
Great post – this was me … I can’t believe how lethargic and unmotivated I became when I decided enough was enough. I discovered a gut health program which is now my side hustle! So many wins… thank you for sharing.
Resonating. Looking forward to next week. Not sure where to go from here.