So I recently blogged about my “entrepreneurial weight gain”, and it kinda-sorta-seriously went and broke our GD-internet, and I’ll be honest … I wasn’t expecting that.
At the same time though, I’m not surprised? I mean, it’s something so many of us can relate to, i.e the hits we take as entrepreneurs to life, and lifestyle: weight gain / weight loss [I can’t relate, I’m the person who gains weight when I’m stressed] / marital strain / financial strain / premature grey hair [or, is that just me? Ha!] … the list goes on.
So when I shared that post, I guess I was [and wasn’t] prepared for the avalanche of DM’s / emails / comments on the blog etc. And you were all fascinated by my theory on the ‘why’, i.e why is it that a business owner has a greater chance of weight gain? And I talked about it all: the sacrifices made, late nights, sugar cravings kicking in, sugar hits [to keep you awake], increased appetite, emotional eating, cortisol inhibiting weight loss, zilch time for exercise … the list goes on.
Today, I’m going to talk about the ‘how’, i.e how did I lose the weight.
First things first? I hit rock bottom: 100.1kg’s was – for me – the most uncomfortable I’ve ever felt within my own skin, i.e clothes not buttoning up, jeans digging into my gut and causing me legitimate discomfort when I’d sit down, bloating [my God, the abdominal bloating … it was so ab.so.lutely uncomfortable], the shock of any photo dropping into our Dropbox from various events / photo shoots etc. and my not being able to even recognise myself [seriously, it’d be a constant case of, “is that me?!”], and then? The diabetes diagnosis.
I think I needed to hit that rock bottom, in order to realise just how bad I’d let it all get, so that I could claw my way out, and claw my way out I did.
Then? The surgery complication happened: so, I went in for a super simple [well, simple to medical professionals with x10+ years of study under their belts, ha!] surgery on some abdominal gastric ulcers, and it went horribly wrong, i.e my oesophagus was accidentally cut > it wasn’t identified during surgery > I was discharged 48 hours later > it became critically bad at home.
Awful. But also? Now I have to heal an oesophagus that’s been cut, and that’s required: significantly smaller portions, and more soft foods like soups etc. Spoiler alert? When your intake is reduced, you really focus on what you’re putting in your mouth, i.e do I want to fill up on a donut, or a nourishing vegetable soup?
This horrific complication has been a blessing in disguise, because it’s helped me to a) kick my binge eating situation, and b) kick my sugar addiction.
The employment of a psychologist who specialises in disordered eating: for me? That was someone with a binge eating focus. My lady is based in North Melbourne, and when I was at my worst? She made me keep a food journal etc. [as well as many other strategies to conquer the binge eating I’d dipped into to comfort myself during the worst of my workplace bullying].
She was a game changer.
I’d honestly prefer not to give her name, as I just like the privacy and discretion I have when I’m able to go and see her and say, “hi my name is Cherie, and I’m a recovering binge eater” without her being able to link me to a little ol’ IG presence / digital marketing footprint etc.
I’ll be honest, there aren’t many psychologists who specialise in disordered eating, so have a crack at Google and see what comes up when you punch that in + North Melbourne.
I’m guessing it’s not going to be a super difficult search. ??♀️
So for me, the how truly has come down to reduced portions: it’s genuinely that simple, and I’d heard that to be true, but when I was in the depths of binge-eating-hell I just couldn’t even imagine being able to control my intake like that [?!].
I’m so blown away by how little it actually takes to fill you + fuel you these days, i.e when you’re fueled with the right stuff, you require a much smaller portion. Actually, it’s reached a point where I’m now feeling borderling “on the other side” with it all, and I see my husband’s dinner plate and I’m like, “my God. That is a massive [and unnecessary] portion of food”.
[sorry to throw you under the bus like that, Davey Boy].
Truly though? When you’re on the other side of being in control of your intake, you look at food intake in a completely different way, and now it really is about eating to fuel up, instead of fill up.
So on that, wait 20 minutes until you consider seconds: seriously. We all know it takes your brain 20 minutes to register that it’s satisfied / full, and … I never did that, i.e I’d stop eating when I felt physically sick from my level of fullness.
And then – of course – reduce your sugar intake: I actually haven’t kicked sugar completely, because I’ve spent my whole life punishing myself with restrictive diets, so I’ve instead opted for how good it feels to mostly kick sugar from my diet / consume it when it’s worth it [i.e a beautiful lemon gelato on a hot Summer’s day etc.]
Sugar for me, was the devil, and it caused hectic bloating for my poor gut.
So that’s it. I’m sorry there’s no magical pill, or miracle cure. But honestly? I’m now 72kg’s [as of this morning’s weigh in], as opposed to the 100.1kg’s I was at my very heaviest.
It’s not about the numbers though, honestly, it’s how I feel.
I feel happy. Confident. Content. Blissed out. More happily married. Backed by my husband more [he doesn’t care about numbers, honestly, he just felt the impacts of my self-loathing when I was at my heaviest]. Happier wearing fun clothes again. Able to keep up with my kids more. Confident to hop in the water with them [oh man, that’s been the best].
And all o’ that? … it’s having significantly big impacts on everything, in ways I couldn’t have even expected tbh.
I hope I’ve helped you? Perhaps I’ve “inspired”? [I cringe at that word]. Perhaps you’ve been at a rock bottom like the one I was at? … you’re not alone.
I hope you know you really can turn it around … you just have to want to. ?